What I want to do with this website, and where I've been.

Hello, I hope it's good to hear from me again, or good to meet me for the first time if you're hopping on from the most recent entry, or I hope this at least doesn't make a bad first impression.

I've been gone for a little while since college started, funny how that works, it's made me quite miserable for various reasons. It's funny that this website is available for them to see but none of them care enough to look at it - definitely a blessing. I've been told that I have quite a rambling style of writing, so i'll try to cut back on that.

I'm not doing a great job right now, am I.

Coming back to this place makes me think of a weird time where I had a lot of motivation because of antidepressants, they were good for me in some ways but in my experience they weren't right. I'm coming back here after a pretty lengthy period of recovery to see what I saw in it when I was "happier".

I feel kind of overwhelmed, not only tackling the decision to possibly redact some of the things on here for privacy's sake (which feels pointless in what I'd describe as a post-privacy era), but also in being faced with such an open plateau of places to put what I create.

I want to make an art board, sure, but I don't really enjoy presenting my art that way. I am at a point where i'm realising a lot of what I picked this up for was never as an avenue for a career, even if I have tried to make money with it in the past. Commissions are hard, that's my message for you; Reader.

I imagine pages I make out of love for the things i experience, using html and css formatting (maybe some javascript, but I'm unpracticed) to create a more interactive - or at least interesting - presentation for art. The phrase "digital exhibition" grosses me out with it's self-importance, but you can imagine something in that vein if you wish.

The current state of the site too, with it's EXTREMELY TOBY-FOXIAN nature, is a little embarrassing. I want to try and inject some of my own flair in the future when possible, but i'll still keep some funny references (Like the "entry" easter egg you can find if you edit the URL ;)

Goals

I think I'm going to start by making a page dedicated to "Z.A.T.O: I Love The World and Everything In It", I finished it recently and it was quite the life-changing read. I tried to style this page in a way that evokes that games' look and feel, but I don't think I really have the css skill to make falling snow for the background. It's okay, I'll get there.

It's hard to put my thoughts into words about the game, especially since I have already discussed my emotional response with a close friend and reader (Hey there ^^), but I plan on re-reading the visual novel soon to really "get it."

It's free, so I recommend you give it a shot.

More soon.